Ara Freeman is a 15-year-old high school freshman who loves reading, tv shows, and YouTube. I met her at church camp two years ago, and she has since made friends online via YouTube and Twitter. She asked me if she could share about the experience and what she’s learned from having friends that live miles away. This is what she has to say. ~Becca
For a while now, I’ve had two incredible best friends who I met online. My friend Taba lives in London and my friend Aurora lives in Illinois. I met Taba for the first time when we started messaging online about YouTube, and I met Aurora when Taba introduced us. For us, it went from awkward Skype calls to planning hotel arrangements when we’ll meet for the first time in April! I’ve learned some things about having best friends that live far away:
1) The cultures are different.
Now, I’m not saying that I had no sense of culture before I met Taba. But just by knowing someone from a different country, I have learned so much about their way of life. Sure, you can watch videos and read about the British culture, but those don’t teach you the small things. When learning about different cultures in school or in a book, you learn about the bigger things, like what languages they speak and what food they eat. But when you have a friend who lives there, you learn the things that don’t even matter, like the way they say “pavement” instead of “sidewalk.” Since knowing Taba, I know so much more about the attitude differences and how people act. Every day when we speak, one of us will say something that will confuse the other, because we grew up in a different country, a different culture. She talks about her fun British holidays, like Pancake Day, while I talk about my fun American holidays, like Thanksgiving. I could easily just go and search about the holidays online, but that would be just knowing about them as opposed to living it, in a way.
2) You don’t need physical presence to be best friends.
Every day at 3 o’clock, I rush to to get home to my computer and Skype Taba and Aurora. Sure, Skype is hard–sometimes my wifi doesn’t connect, or Taba needs to go bed because of the annoying time difference, but we make it work. People don’t always understand me having internet best friends because they’re not physically here with me, but who needs to go be able to do things like going shopping together when you can talk about anything for hours? It’s harder to find someone who is exactly meant to be there for you when society puts such a cage around who people can be friends with. They have to be my age and know me in person. Well guess what? I know two of my best friends from the internet, and my best friend I know in person is 6 years older than me. They don’t have to be just like me.
3) It’s all on you.
At my age, I don’t have a lot of say in who I’m around all day. Sure, I have friends outside of school that I choose to be around, but I didn’t choose to meet them in the first place. In real life you don’t really get to choose who you meet. I met my childhood best friend from living in the same neighborhood, and I met my best friend Becca from church. Online friends are 100% up to me and them; there is no “I don’t feel like replying, but I’ll see them at school so it doesn’t matter.”
The friends you know in person most likely have similar interests, but not one common thing that you constantly obsess over like Taba, Aurora, and I. All three of us are on YouTube, and obsess over two vloggers named Dan and Phil. That’s actually how Taba and I talked for the first time; she followed me on Twitter and I messaged her trying to promote my YouTube channel. She replied advertising her own. Aurora and Taba had talked before, and I had already been following a huge Dan and Phil fan account that Aurora helps run. Small world, huh?
Basically, we’re fangirls, nerds, and complete weirdos.
4) Time differences don’t always suck.
Now, if she lived somewhere that was 12 hours ahead instead of six then it would suck, but for us it’s not as bad as it could be. The combination of the fact thats it’s only six hours and Taba’s terrible sleep schedule makes it easier for us to keep in touch. I have to admit when it’s seven pm for Aurora and I, but three in the morning for Taba, it can be hard. But it’s also exciting. It makes those three hours I get to spend with her on Skype more special, and every day I run home to make sure I use those three hours. It can also be exciting. For instance, there was one time when I woke up at 6 am on a Sunday to Skype Taba when she went to see Dan and Phil on tour. It was probably the most exciting thing that happened to me that weekend. We make it work even if it can be annoying, and it actually makes me want to learn more about the differences in other parts of the world.
5) It can be scary.
When you get a message on Twitter from your best friend that says “In the hospital, we’ll talk later,” it’s terrifying. Of course, she had just woken up from a concussion, so I’ll cut her some slack for scaring Aurora and I half to death. Since international texting and calling is so expensive, we don’t use our numbers when we need to text. Instead, we send messages on Twitter, and we Skype when we need to call. Anything could happen to my internet best friends and I wouldn’t know. Having friends who live 4,000 and 700 miles away from me is terrifying because a thousand thoughts go through my mind each day. What if London gets bombed? What if I never get to meet them? But I wouldn’t trade them for the world.
In conclusion, It’s different having two best friends who live across the country and across the world, but it’s amazing. It’s amazing to spend all day thinking about faces on a screen. It’s incredible to think that 30 years ago, it wasn’t even an option to have best friends that you’ve never met. Even today it’s still not the ideal choice for most people; I used to think it was the weirdest thing to date or be friends with someone you met online. It rewrites the stereotypical definition of love. Just because they’re not with me, just because I can’t drive to their house and hug them anytime I want, doesn’t mean they’re not my best friends.
~Ara
Check out Ara’s YouTube channel here for a new video every Thursday. You can also find Taba’s channel here and Aurora’s channel here.
A Head Full of Stories 